original music

Love me love my gestalt

Most of the songs I write have been coaxed, prodded, bribed, begged, beaten into existence. 

A precious few have arrived so seamlessly it feels wrong to take credit for them. Example: I'm doing something or nothing and suddenly a melody is moving my lips so I sit with an instrument and find the right chords to support it as words just arrive and attach to the melody and now there's a song. 

Sometimes they're straightforward, like a story about a fella who's always picking up and moving on, forever certain that the next place is the right place. 

Or they're an expression of something I don't have the vocabulary to state reasonably. 

Sometimes I'm not even sure what a song I write is about. These are usually the ones I end up loving the most. 

I'm often embarrassed by them. Occasionally I'll write one that I really love. Sometimes a song will embarrass me in the morning and by the evening I'll adore it, only to wake up the next day and be embarrassed that I ever adored it. 

It's a mysterious and fickle part of my life and I don't know why I do it, but I think I'm glad that I do. 

If I were to put these wild things into a deliberate, static album, it would feel contrived and disingenuous to the songs themselves. So instead, I'll try something that at least feels more natural. 

"Love me love my gestalt" is an expanding collection of songs that I've written, performed, recorded and mixed. As they're completed, they'll find their way here and become part of a growing body of work, one that I intend to add to until I can't. 

The title, "Love me love my gestalt," comes from a painting my dad made in his ne'er-do-wellian days. The phrase stayed behind long after the painting was lost, and it eventually started to mean a whole lot to me. "Love me love my gestalt" is an offering of one's entire being -- the pleasant, the foul, the uplifting, the frustrating, the fake, the real, the mundane, the erratic, the brazen, the insecure, and on and on and on. The complete masterpiece, made up of ten thousand strokes and blemishes. 

So here's my gestalt, for now. 

Corruption

Corruption is my first attempt at a cohesive collection of recordings. These songs were  created throughout my first few years of songwriting and so I hate them. Sometimes. But sometimes I don't, and on one of those times I recorded them with the help of a friend. Here they are.